Missing The Present Blessings
For years now I’ve said I can’t wait till I have a house so that we don’t have to have 17 Thanksgivings. I’ve longed for the days that we have our own house… meaning I haven’t fully enjoyed the times and holidays I’ve spent thus far.
My family is unique in the sense that everyone loves each other but not everyone likes each other. A lot of my family members would help each other in need, but honestly some might let others suffer a little longer before helping. A lot of our family (my husband’s included) are spread throughout the country. Being married has added another dynamic that we haven’t had to face before, obviously.
My immediate family all lives in the same city, where as my husband’s immediate family lives in three different states. My extended family lives in Washington and Colorado mainly. My husband’s extended family lives on the East Coast. At this current time in our lives we celebrate each holiday three times, and most holidays we don’t see our out of state family, and we rarely see our friends. My parents are divorced and so are my husbands. Thank gosh my parents at least live 15 minutes apart so that makes things a little easier. Both of my parents have new fiancé’s, and my husband’s parents do not.
With all this being said holidays are stressful for me as I try to make sure we see everyone and that everyone is happy and no one is left out. And I carry the guilt of making it all happen. So every year as holidays approach I get grumpy and stressed, to the point that sometimes I don’t even realize how I am acting. As hard as it is for me to admit, that is the truth and quite honestly I have probably ruined others days as well.
In 2019 our holidays changed as that was in the midst of my dad’s cancer treatment and he didn’t have the energy or desire to celebrate he just wanted to heal and rest. We all knew that is what he needed and were prepared for that. The holiday season started as his treatment started, so by the time Christmas got here he was in the deepest valley of pain and needed a lot of healing and sleep.
2020 came around and we were ready for the best year ever! We know how that went, and I will leave that there.
As I lay in bed tonight I realize I wasted another Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving 2020 to be exact, waiting for the day that I can host one big dinner with all of our families from all parts of the country. Little did I realize… my perspective has been wrong the last 8 years. How blessed am I to have three homes to go to? Some people have no one.. some people don’t get Thanksgiving food. Some don’t get the laughs I had, and some people don’t get to play games. Here I am, I have 3 homes to get it all at. Three homes full of joy, love, laughter and celebration.
My dad and bonus mom have neighbors that surround them and celebrate them and allow us to become part of their lives. My husband’s mom always makes delicious pie, and we play catch phrase. My mom and bonus dad are just so welcoming and always willing to go above and beyond to make sure we always have what we need and everyone is celebrated and loved. I have 3 times what most people just pray to have of one. My perspective has been wrong all along.
Some people have empty seats during holidays for family members who have graduated to Heaven, some because family couldn’t make it, and some because relationships were lost. We have empty seats because our family is blessed enough to choose where they want to live and where it’s best for them. Our family is blessed enough to choose their homes and travel when they want. Some families don’t have that luxury.
This year in 2020 I’ve come to realize everything I have is everything I need and want nothing more. Change your perspective, it will change your life.
